To boost his national profile and support Republican candidates in the 2022 midterm elections, former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has formed his own political action committee called Champion American Values PAC. But that’s not the only name he’s decided to use for his campaign, nor the one the internet cares about.
“CAVPAC is a fairly awkward name but not as bad as what he’s calling his fans and donors: the Pipehitters,” said The Late Show‘s Stephen Colbert in Wednesday’s monologue. “Because if you think Mike Pompeo should be president, you’re definitely hitting the pipe.”
Pompeo’s apparently using the term as in the military sense, meaning people in special ops. “But some folks on the famously horny internet had a different understanding of ‘pipehitter’ — a sexy understanding,” noted Colbert.
Pompeo then decided to clarify the term by tweeting out audio from a speech he gave at the 2021 Conservative Political Action Conference in Florida in February.
But it really didn’t change minds. And Colbert absolutely ran with it. “Not sexual at all, just a grinder who keeps bangin’ away. When I say ‘pipehitter’ I’m talkin’ about who’s not afraid to roll up his sleeves and really reach around, you know? Get his or her hands dirty, give them any hand job, they’ll do it, pulling together until everyone’s finished.”
But the best bit? Colbert noticed that Pompeo issued an actual callout on his official website for donors to “join him as a Pipehitter” by writing or sending a video of your own pipehitting in action.
“It is our duty to support this mission,” said Colbert. Everyone out there, please, send Mike Pompeo a video of you hitting pipe — whatever that means to you.”
