We all love a drunk celebrity, and what better celebrity to get drunk on camera than Post Malone, who has his own signature bottle of Jagermeister and also his own bottle of rosé? As he explains to Seth Meyers in the Late Night host’s semi-regular segment “Day Drinking”, smoking is a gateway drug to smoking weed, and smoking weed is a gateway drug to pink wine. Makes sense to me.
Taking over Manhattan bar The Waylon, the pair power through a truly horrifying-to-the-liver-of-anyone-over-25 mix of drinks in quick succession. First they chug a beer each, then a quick drinking game with shots; next is a series of cocktails inspired by Posty’s tattoos and created not by professional mixologists but by professional comedy writers. You know a cocktail menu is bad when the best one contains Red Bull, coffee, and Four Loko. (The disrespect done here to the noble Gibson martini is truly unforgivable, and I truly hope someone makes Malone a good one soon.)
Another drinking game and some face tattoos later, it’s time for the most entertaining part of any bender: dumb arguments about ultimately meaningless shit. Malone has given Meyers some extremely quarter-assed Sharpie face tatts based ostensibly on the host’s three favorite things: the Pittsburgh Steelers, his dog Frisbee, and The Flash. This rapidly deteriorates into a debate about whether Superman can run faster than The Flash.
“The Steelers suck, and The Flash is slow compared to Superman,” Posty confidently asserts, by way of defense of the tattoos.
“Fuck off,” spits Meyers, putting down the hand mirror. “What are you talking a— Are we having this argument? Are we gonna blow it right now?… That’s his one thing! That’s his one thing!”
The blurry-edged consonants and righteous indignation of the drunken nerd argument? That’s my drug of choice.
