There’s something inherently a little silly about using tiny cartoon images to simulate sexual acts.
But we all know the usual sexting suspects by now — eggplant emoji, peach emoji, pointing finger at OK hand symbol emoji. Yawn. Where are the quality masturbation emoji?
The world’s most recognizably phallic veggie may still reign supreme, but it’s time to retire the ol’ eggplant for a while. It’s time to use other elongated food items — may we suggest the banana? Or maybe a bit of meat?
And there are also so many options for vaginal masturbation! All you need to do is get a little creative.
To help you out, we’ve compiled some emoji that are perfect for subtly sexting your date, having a laugh amongst friends, or quickly alerting your roommate to steer clear of your room for the next hour.
1. Hand + food combo
Masturbation emoji: fist, banana, hot dog
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
2. Pettin’ the kitty
Masturbation emoji: wave, cat
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
3. The ol’ taco tango
Masturbation emoji: taco, tango
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
4. Orbiting Venus
Masturbation emoji: space, planet
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
5. Meat Beat Mania
Masturbation emoji: fist, drumstick
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
6. Flicking the bean
Masturbation emoji: finger, nuts
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
7. Shifting the joystick
Masturbation emoji: game controller, joystick, fist
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
8. Blasting off
Masturbation emoji: rocket, fist, squirt
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
9. Just hands… like, every hand emoji
Masturbation emoji: every hand emoji
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
10. Blow your own horn
Masturbation emoji: blow, horn
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
11. Taming the beaver
Masturbation emoji: bear, chains
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
12. Paddling the pink canoe
Masturbation emoji: canoe, hearts
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
13. Hit the bullseye
Masturbation emoji: finger, bullseye
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
14. Finger blasting
Masturbation emoji: finger, explosion
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
15. Shaking hands with the milkman
Masturbation emoji: shake, cow, milk
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
16. Spank the monkey
Masturbation emoji: spank, monkey
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
17. Ring the bell
Masturbation emoji: bell
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
18. Sweet, sweet honey
Masturbation emoji: honeypot
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
19. Gushin’
Masturbation emoji: waves
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
20. Choke the chicken
Masturbation emoji: hands spread, chicken
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
21. Make the bald man cry
Masturbation emoji: crying, bald man
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
22. Shower time
Masturbation emoji: shower
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
23. Pinching the dumpling
Masturbation emoji: dumping, pinching hand
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
24. Clowning yourself
Masturbation emoji: clown, eggplant, squirt
Credit: MASHABLE COMPOSITE / APPLE
Give yourself a hand, and try out these emoji combos for yourself. Though you might need to provide an explanation to whoever you’re sending them to, really the only important thing is that you know what’s going on. ????
