Some would say postmodernism is ruining the things we love. It’s certainly crept into the offices of ad executives, who now use our goodwill to trick us into watching ad campaigns for mediocre cognac.
After LeBron James teased a “second decision” on Monday — a nod to his 2010 announcement in which he announced he’d be leaving the Cavaliers to take his “talents to South Beach” and join the Miami Heat. However, the big reveal on Oct. 7 turned out to be nothing more than an ad for Hennessy.
In the end, it was corny, somehow even cornier than anything James has done before. Even the original The Decision was a cheesy spectacle. In the years after, it was remembered as Cleveland’s second-greatest betrayal after Art Modell moved the Browns to Baltimore.
Is nothing sacred anymore?
That’s rhetorical. The answer’s no. Every cultural artifact from the past 15 years is now fair game to sell something.
Remember earlier this year when Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan reunited to tease “something iconic,” dressed like their When Harry Met Sally characters? That “something iconic” was a Hellmann’s mayonnaise ad. Or when Dolly Parton rewrote “9 to 5” for Squarespace. Or when Sydney Sweeney and American Eagle managed to turn an already creepy Brooke Shields Calvin Klein homage into an even weirder piece of propaganda.
Like James, racing legend Lewis Hamilton, one of the greatest drivers in F1 history, was thought to be teasing a retirement with a slow-burning match video on Instagram. It was an ad for a “smoky” non-alcoholic tequila. Womp, womp.
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Scroll through the comments on James’ fake-out video, and you’ll find plenty of relief. At 40 (soon to be 41), James has become an institution, set to play a record-breaking 23rd season. He’s the league’s all-time leading scorer, and there are players entering the NBA who were born, grew up, went to school, and got drafted all while LeBron James was winning titles with the Cavs, Heat, and Lakers.
But age catches up to everyone. Maybe that’s what inspired this sad little ad stunt — holding our nostalgia hostage, hoping to stir up enough outrage to hit whatever engagement target the ad team dreamed up.
Somehow, as the previous generation of sports icons edges toward the finish line, it’s almost surprising WWE’s John Cena hasn’t pulled his own retirement fake-out — though his real farewell tour is already slogging through its share of low points and controversy.
Even worse, these all seem to exist purely as social media stunts. This is not exactly shocking, especially in an era when brands have started killing off their own mascots. In a Marketplace.org piece, Linda Ferrell of Auburn University’s Harbert College of Business explained that companies do this to move away from mascots that make it harder to connect with diverse audiences.
Earlier this year, Duolingo “killed” its creepy little bird. Planters did the same with Mr. Peanut back in 2020, only to resurrect him as Baby Nut after the Kool-Aid Man cried on his grave. The takeaway from these bizarre, morbid campaigns is simple: they grab attention. Mr. Peanut had been around for over a century — of course, people were going to react when the brand staged his death. Even Duolingo got pop stars like Dua Lipa “mourning” its mascot online.
In the same way, The Decision drew over ten million viewers when it aired, according to Nielsen. Fifteen years later, LeBron has been the subject of nonstop retirement rumors, setting the stage for a marketing ploy practically guaranteed to go viral. The teaser for his “second decision” racked up 1.4 million likes and more than 52,000 comments on Instagram. The actual reveal —posted today — sits at 458,000 likes and 23,000 comments as of this writing.
Viral stunts don’t last, but 1.8 million combined likes isn’t a bad day’s work for a cognac brand with fewer than a million followers. One can only imagine what ayahuasca supplement 41-year-old NFL QB Aaron Rodgers will shill in the near future.
This article reflects the opinions of the writer.
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