Like Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers has thoughts on Pete Hegseth reportedly burning through $93 billion in one month.
The Late Night host used his “A Closer Look” deep dive segment to examine the U.S. War (née Defense) Department and secretary spending serious taxpayer money — and not just the $5.6 billion the Trump administration spent on the first two days of the U.S.-Iran war. A recent government watchdog report uncovered exorbitant pre-war department spending on luxuries like $1.8 million on musical instruments (including a $98K Steinway grand piano), $5.3 million worth of Apple devices (including 400 new iPad Air M3s), $4 million worth of Samsung products, and $15.1 million on ribeye steak in Sept. 2025 alone.
“They spent $15 million on steak in one month? Who are you? Sterling, Cooper, Draper, and Price? If you’re gonna eat that much steak, you better have come up with a new campaign for Lucky Strike,” said Meyers. “No wonder Hegseth always looks miserable; he’s 24/7 meat-constipated. That’s the face of a man warfighting with his colon.”
“Also, it’s a real contradiction that you’re telling us how tough you are, but now I can only picture you wearing a bib,” Meyers added. “‘We are going to rain hell down on them from above I need the tiny fork who has the tiny fork?'”
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Late Night With Seth Meyers
