Stephen Colbert has reacted to President Donald Trump‘s threats to destroy Iran’s power plants and bridges. Posting to Truth Social on Easter Sunday, Trump announced that the U.S. would attack Iran on Tuesday, stating that “There will be nothing like it!!!” As Colbert noted, Trump going “100 percent cage-free crazy on the internet” didn’t make for a very festive Easter atmosphere.
“Open the Fuckin’ Strait [of Hormuz], you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell — JUST WATCH!” Trump wrote (emphasis original). “Praise be to Allah.”
“You know, it is not often that a network has to bleep the words of a sitting president,” Colbert quipped. “Hasn’t happened since [President Harry S.] Truman put that famous sign on his desk: The bleep stops bleep.”
Quickly running through Trump’s recent history regarding his messaging on Iran, Colbert noted that just last week the president said reopening the Strait of Hormuz was not an issue the U.S. was interested in being involved in. Despite this, The U.S. president has since issued multiple deadlines for Iran to reopen the strait, threatening military strikes on the country’s power plants if they do not comply. Thus far, Trump has moved these deadlines back each time they’ve arrived.
“At this point he’s tried every tactic except passive aggressive parental guilt trip,” joked Colbert. “‘Well, I guess you won’t open the Strait of Hormuz before I die. But that’s fine. I mean, who needs oil when I’m clearly never going to have grandchildren? I don’t need them. I have canasta, which would be a beautiful name for a girl.'”
Colbert also continued to follow NASA’s historic Artemis II mission to the moon, which began experiencing various problems with its onboard toilet not long after launch.
“Luckily, the astronauts have trained extensively on NASA’s broken toilet simulator: a Greyhound bus,” Colbert quipped. “Apparently the problem was caused by a frozen waste plug in the toilet pipeline, which the crew solved by rotating the spacecraft so sunlight could warm the frozen pipe. Turns out the solution to their problem was to point it where the sun do shine.”
Topics
Stephen Colbert
Donald Trump
