Portal fans rejoice — or rather, bask in the mixed feelings of getting a new game set in their beloved franchise’s universe that isn’t at all what they’ve been clamoring for over the past decade.
Today, Valve dropped a surprise release with Aperture Desk Job, a free Steam Deck game set in the universe of Portal. BUT (isn’t there always a “but” when it comes to long-awaited continuations of Valve games?), as the description on Steam emphasizes in bolded capital letters, it is “Not Portal 3!“
Instead of being the long-awaited follow-up to the iconic puzzle game, Aperture Desk Job is categorized as a walking simulator and playable short. You begin as a starry-eyed, entry-level employee of the game’s cheerily dystopic corporation (which sorta kinda probably accidentally brought about the apocalypse). While eager to jump-start your bright future by climbing up the career ladder at Aperture Science, where everything is always not as it first appears.
Hilariously, the game’s Steam description contains several pleas for fans to leave their high-hopes behind before playing this extended universe handheld console title.
“Lower your expectations: This is not a sequel to Portal,” it says, reading more like a hostage negotiation than a description for a video game. “Desk Job puts you squarely in the driver’s seat at Aperture Science. Then quickly removes the driving part and adds a desk in front of the seat.”
Today, Valve is best known for Steam, the popular PC video game distribution platform. But previously, the company was renowned as the studio behind history-making, critically-acclaimed franchises like Portal and Half-Life.
This isn’t the first time the gaming titan recently resurrected their legendary IP in a way no one wanted or asked for. In 2020 Valve released the not-Half–Life–3 virtual reality game Half-Life: Alyx after first launching the Vavle Index VR headset. As a Steam Deck exclusive, Aperture Desk Job appears to be another strategic use of their beloved properties as a way to use fan fervor for their games to push the company’s new business ventures. They’re certainly not the only entertainment mogul to do so. But we suggest fans head their warning to temper expectations.
