Anyone who’s watched John Oliver will know that Last Week Tonight has a very strong cameo game — from an angry Adam Driver to a very blunt Leslie Jones, there have been many memorable guest appearances over the years.
And now Brian Cox joins the number. The Succession star appeared during Sunday’s episode about the state of water in the U.S., with Oliver going through the problems (“the South-West is actually going through its driest period since 800 A.D.,” he explains) to the many unhelpful ideas and solutions being offered, including a call to collective prayer for rain from Utah’s Governor Spencer Cox.
This is where Cox comes in, playing none other than an unimpressed God himself. Here’s his speech, in full:
“Hi. It’s me, God. I know I don’t often do this but I just wanted to appear in person to make one thing perfectly clear: You can’t pray your way out of a drought. Frankly I’m insulted you even asked me, you got yourself in this fucking mess, get yourself the fuck out of it. I gave you plenty of water. It’s not my fault you wasted it building surfing lagoons and golf courses in the middle of a fucking desert. Utah, your Capitol is Salt Lake City. It’s next to a salt lake. A lake of salt. Taking the fucking hint.
“So no, I will not be answering your prayer for rain. For the record I’ve only ever, ever answered one prayer: Little Timmy Pendleton wanted a Hess Truck for his birthday in 1986, and I made sure he got one. The kid just really seemed to want that truck, and you know, maybe I felt bad about killing both his parents with that tornado. I don’t know. There’s so many things I’d rather talk about to you than your stupid, stupid water usage, like the meaning of life, or which animal I created by mistake (guinea pigs, by the way). The point is, I want humans of all faiths to come together and act like rational fucking adults when it comes to water use. Heed my words, my children, and conserve the once bountiful gifts of rivers and lakes which I created for you, on Earth. Now fuck off.”
Well, you can’t put it much more plainly than that.
