The Late Show has aired its final episode, with Stephen Colbert taking a final bow among family and friends. While we’ll miss the late night host handing it to those in power nightly, one of the segments we’ll miss most of all is “Meanwhile…” in which Colbert and his Late Show writers revel in outlandish wordplay to deliver the strange news you might have missed.
For his last “Meanwhile…” Colbert ignored the strange green glow and humming noises affecting the Late Show stage and plunged into the segment’s signature verbose address — and it’s ship-themed.
“If you watch this show, you know I’ve spent a lot of my time right over there in the news shipyard assembling the most topical story hull using the finest graphics, flawless camera work, direction, sound, and lighting, all powered by a 2000-horsepower marine diesel engine of jokes for the honour of helming the blissfully steady fly bridge yacht of comedy that is my nightly monologue,” said Colbert.
“But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, while wrapping up 11 years of gags about Doritos-flavored liquor, three-penis cadavers, and cocaine sharks, I strip the copper wire out of our control board and strap my love of my staff and crew to my overturned desk and slap on some fans ripped out of our laser printers, then climb inside and putter away in the unsinkable gratitude dinghy of news that is my segment, ‘Meanwhile…'”
But the best part of all? Colbert included the news that the owner of the music from Peanuts TV specials including “A Charlie Brown Christmas” is suing multiple companies and the U.S. Department of the Interior for using the copyrighted songs without permission. Cue Louis Cato and the Great Big Joy Machine (The Late Show band) noodling away with a song that sounds legally familiar.
“Oh no!” said Colbert. “I hope this doesn’t cost CBS any money!” Heh.
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