“Hey Elon, we hear you need a big f*cking field. We’ve got just the place for your Cybertruck Gigafactory. It’s in Tulsa.” Pardon the language, but that statement headlines a new website www.bigf***ingfield.com, that apparently exists as a bid to get Tesla to situate its newly announced Cybertruck electric pickup-truck factory in Tusla, Oklahoma. Tesla CEO Elon Musk recently tweeted that the automaker was looking to plop its new Cybertruck Gigafactory someplace in the “central USA,” and places don’t come more centralized in America than Oklahoma, we suppose.
Is the website, you know, real? Well, it is a real website. You can visit it. If you’re wondering whether it’s part of a serious push to get Tesla into Tulsa, that’s up for debate. For example, whoever is behind the effort missed the obvious selling point: That “Tulsa” is merely one letter removed from the word “Tesla.” Quite the whiff, huh? We submitted our email for more information and who might be behind this trick, a likely mistake that probably will result in spyware capable of taking down MotorTrend‘s entire server system. Or not. We received a quick response from “Big Field” with the subject line “Yes this is real,” a brief note, and the signature “Dutifully yours, Tesla’s Big F#*@ing Field.”
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Even though Big Field missed the obvious dad-joke riff on the whole Tesla/Tulsa thing, the site focuses on a different one: That the Big F#*@ing Field could be Tesla’s “BFF.” (In modern shorthand, that’s “best friend forever. “) The proposed factory site’s benefits include “1,500+ acres (or more, or less)” of space; “Location, Central USA”; and “Infrastructure” with “water, natural gas, sewage, roads, wind, sun, hydro energy.” That last part is actually true—there are apparently four hydroelectric dams in Oklahoma. The more you know!
The rest of the website indicates less seriousness. For example, under the same list of proposed benefits to the Tulsa Gigafactory site, the website mentions “zoning” that’s good for both a Gigafactory and a “Rave Cave.” (Elon Musk, ever the proposer of strange ideas, recently mused on Twitter about a “rave cave” being built in the German Gigafactory currently under construction.) The proposed factory site is also hyped as being 150.2 million miles from Mars, as well as 1,053 miles from the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, an apparent jab at Musk’s recent brush with the SEC.
Beyond those selling points, the website includes silly Photoshops for different “modes” the site can take on. There is Sentry Mode (similar to Tesla’s real security system, but with lasers), Ludacris Mode (with Ludacris, the rapper/actor, not Tesla’s Ludicrous fast-acceleration driving mode), Mars Mode (literally Mars?), and Romance Mode (just see for yourself). If all of this stunning web design and campaigning tickles your fancy, BFF won’t just sell to Elon Musk. Apparently, anyone can preorder their Big F-in’ Field today with a $100 deposit and develop it how they please, although the add-to-cart widget didn’t work for us. We suppose the website’s backers hope Elon takes the bait, and we applaud their audacious efforts to bring a big manufacturing plant to Tulsa, Oklahoma.
