The globe’s two biggest polluters have agreed on…something?…to apparently tackle climate change, maybe?
While world leaders attempt to come to an agreement on climate change at the COP26 summit, China and the U.S. announced a surprise and extremely vague joint agreement on Wednesday to (wait for it) “enhance ambition” on climate change. According to the New York Times, the two countries said they would cooperate to cut emissions overall this decade, with China committing to reduce methane gas emissions and “phase down” coal from 2026 without any real timeline details.
The Late Show‘s Stephen Colbert spoke on the agreement during his monologue on Thursday. “Maybe, could be significant because the United States and China are the world’s two biggest polluters,” he said. “Of course, the number three is any Keurig machine — I take my coffee with milk, sugar, and a little cup that fits right into a dolphins blowhole!”
Colbert called out the indecisiveness of the language used, even offering up a meter clocking up diplomatic levels of crisis response.
“This agreement is pretty short on specifics. The nations just agreed to ‘enhance ambition’ on climate. ‘Enhance ambition’ is a technical diplomatic level of crisis response. It goes: enhance ambition, elevate enthusiasm, biggie size initiative, extra crispy, and too late we’re already dead!”
Wish he was wrong, tbh.
