‘The Office’ episodes, ranked. (All 185 of them.)

An obsession is a funny thing. It happens while you aren’t looking.

For me, I realized The Office bordered on obsession when it began creeping into my daily existence. It went from being a show I enjoyed to being every other reference in my conversations.

I’d be out for drinks with a buddy, talking about their major career decision. I’d try to be thoughtful, but the only wisdom I could muster was Jim picking up the phone and telling Athlead he was in. Or it’d be a rainy day and suddenly I was recounting Phyllis’ 12 cliches. Or someone would mention an injury and, presto, I’d be quoting Creed: “You ever notice you can only ooze two things? Sexuality and pus.”

Everything became The Office to me. My obsession was not only consuming, it was public, and perhaps my most normie behavior.

Several years back a friend suggested that I “rank some episodes” of The Office. You know, since I write for a living. So I decided on a whim, fuck it, let’s go for the whole damn series. 185 episodes, which aired from 2005 through 2013. I re-watched Every. Single. Episode. Some I re-watched twice. (I’d already, of course, watched the series in its entirety at least four times before this.)

I took copious notes, scorched my retinas with endless screentime, and scored the episodes on four categories:

1. Laughs

2. Importance to The Office Universe

3. Memorability/Quotability

4. Emotional Weight

Each category is worth a possible ten points and my scoring goes out two decimal places because it’s ridiculous. A (theoretically) perfect episode would get a 40, although none did. Yes, 40 points is an arbitrary measure, but I thought it was important to show what an episode did well, or not so well, in comparison with others. Also: I’ll admit, my rankings skewed toward rewarding episodes that had big, emotional moments because I LIKE THOSE and why do you not like to feel?

Some housekeeping: There is some disagreement about how episodes in some seasons are numbered. I pushed double-episodes into one item and followed Netflix’s numbering because that’s how I rewatched it (well before the great Peacock purge).

While writing this — which ended up being a yearslong process — I tried to nail down why I love The Office so deeply, and I realized that a lot of it comes from the feeling that I’m dropping in on my old friends. That’s the highest honor for a show, in my opinion. What separates The Office from the many other TV shows that have come and gone? It manages to transport you into its own little world. It makes you want to spend time with these people in their crappy little office. The Office also gave space for its characters to change, and we grew along with them — Michael from a total ass to a lovable ass; Jim from a directionless office drone to an ambitious dad; Pam from someone totally stuck to someone with purpose; Dwight from authoritarian weirdo to…friendly, slightly less authoritarian weirdo.

Anyway. Here it is, every episode of The Office, ranked in descending order. (Warning: There’s a lot. If you’re gonna do it, why go half-ass?)

185. Season 8, Episode 8 – “Gettysburg”

• Laughs: 5.99

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.88

• Emotional Weight: 5.67

TOTAL SCORE: 23.55

Best Quote: “Robert you got your sheep, and you got your black sheep, and I’m not even a sheep. I’m on the freakin’ moon.” -Ryan Howard

In my ideal world there is no worst episode of The Office because each time its little jingle fires up and the credits roll, the show brings me joy. But, something has to be last and, well, “Gettysburg” is a rather forgettable episode.

Ever lacking for confidence, Regional Manager Andy is trying to rally the Scranton troops by…literally rallying the troops with a trip to Gettysburg. It’s the same general beats as the episode where Andy gets a tattoo but just not as good. Meanwhile, rag-tag stragglers in Scranton work with Robert California to try to innovate a Big Idea. The best part of the episode is Zach Woods as Gabe getting a few minutes to do a dark Lincoln impression—”I need her like I need a hole in the head,” Gabe-as-Abe says, in a sweet, weird little nod to Michael claiming Lincoln’s death was finally funny in “Casino Night.”

184. Season 9, Episode 19 – “Stairmageddon”

• Laughs: 6.03

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.84

• Emotional Weight: 5.88

TOTAL SCORE: 23.76

Best Quote: “Don’t worry, it’s just a bull tranquilizer. Nothing to be alarmed about. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at a coworker.” -Dwight Schrute

The elevator is down. All hell breaks loose. Stairs are used.

This is a Dwight-led episode, but if you’re going to have a Schrute-focused plot then it has to be damn good — because Rainn Wilson delivered many fantastic episodes. And while this episode has its moments such as Stanley stabbing himself with a dart to avoid walking up stairs, it’s relatively meh. The laughs come from unsurprising avenues, chiefly Dwight being ridiculous. Meanwhile, Jim and Pam are trudging through couples therapy and we’re supposed to feel, I suppose, worried for them? We’re a few episodes from the finale and, come on, we’re all smart enough to know Jim and Pam are going to work out. But it’s a slow build to flesh them out as a fully formed couple — as people with problems and as humans in the real world — folks who have to sacrifice for the things they want.

When the show is over and our time with Jim and Pam ends, it’s nice to see them out of their little world within Scranton. But the fighting and the tension the show uses to build to it in Season 9 is a bit tiresome and weighs down a few episodes. There’s emotion, but the weight never feels all that real.

183. Season 8, Episode 10 – “Christmas Wishes”

• Laughs: 6.07

• Importance to Office Universe: 5.99

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.03

• Emotional Weight: 6.05

TOTAL SCORE: 24.14

Best Quote: “My ex is meeting my sex. Which is always scary, you know? And not just because you think they might talk about your penis. That’s just part of it.” -Andy Bernard

The Office knocked Christmas episodes out of the park, but this is the first Xmas episode since Michael left. It shows. The entire plot revolves around boss Andy trying to please everyone, which, sure, is his defining trait as a person, but it also feels like the show is trying to please the audience: Here, we can still do Christmas! Something about Michael’s flaws — he, too, has an intense desire to be loved, but its paired with precious few social skills and the nuance of a Super Soaker — are perfect for blowing up Christmas celebrations. Andy’s Xmas doesn’t land the same way.

Meanwhile, Erin is drunk and jealous and loves Andy, and Andy is dating Jessica but, naturally, loves Erin. It’s a forgettable Christmas episode with some good, awkward beats but still, ultimately, forgettable.

182. Season 7, Episode 3 – “Andy’s Play”

• Laughs: 5.98

• Importance to Office Universe: 5.55

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.33

• Emotional Weight: 7.33

TOTAL SCORE: 24.19

Best Quote: “My parents used to scramble to find babysitters, so they could take my little brother to do stuff.” -Andy

Andy gets a taste of fame in the local Sweeney Todd production, which, hilariously, Michael had auditioned for by re-enacting an entire episode of Law & Order. What pulls this episode up from the very bottom is a few tender moments with Dwight and Angela. She successfully gets his attention, then amid their…erm…copulation arrangement, she punches his legally mandated card despite not doing the deed. Still dating Gabe, Erin is clearly pining for Andy. Their falling apart runs parallel to Dwight and Angela but never feels so tender. (Sometimes you’re just waiting for the right Plop to come along.)

Final side note: While there are some memorable bits to this episode, it is perhaps the series’ worst-ever episode for quotes. Total stinker.

181. Season 6, Episode 6 – “Mafia”

• Laughs: 6.31

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.21

• Emotional Weight: 5.67

TOTAL SCORE: 24.2

Best Quote: “I will have the spaghetti. With a side salad…If the salad is on top, I send it back.” -Michael

The Coalition for Reason is undermanned, Toby is asleep at the wheel, and the trio of Michael, Andy, and Dwight convince themselves a guy selling insurance is mobbed up. It’s a fine episode but it holds no real weight. It’s mostly filler.

The cold open is fantastic, however. Toby shows Michael a flaw in his conference room presentation. And before Michael can even finish saying the words “get out,” Toby is already at the the door. It’s great to watch Toby manage to get a win and know exactly how Michael is going to react.

180. Season 7, Episode 7 – “Christening”

• Laughs: 6.21

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.13

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.14

• Emotional Weight: 5.88

TOTAL SCORE: 24.36

Best Quote: “Why you always gotta be so mean to me?” -Toby Flenderson, talking to God in church

It’s Cece’s christening, and — try as they might — Jim and Pam cannot escape their office family and, try as he might, Michael cannot make his little office family love him.

179. Season 5, Episode 18 – “Blood Drive”

• Laughs: 5.77

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.73

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.99

• Emotional Weight: 5.99

TOTAL SCORE: 24.48

Best Quote: “They have new phone systems now that can ring directly to a salesman, or someone presses star and they go to accounting. Basically 95 percent of my job. But I’d like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone. … Vending machine.” – Pam Halpert

Michael has a mostly forgotten flirtation with a mystery woman during a Valentine’s Day blood drive, but the real meat of this episode revolves around Jim and Pam joining Phyllis and Bob Vance (Vance Refrigeration) for lunch. Bobby and Phyllis get nasty in the bathroom as the food goes cold and it’s proof that Phyllis is the baddest motherfucker in the Scranton Business Park.

178. Season 4, Episode 13 – “Job Fair”

• Laughs: 7.14

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.11

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.12

• Emotional Weight: 5.13

TOTAL SCORE: 24.5

Best Quote: Michael, talking about Pam: “I would never say this to her face but she’s a wonderful person and a gifted artist.”

Oscar: “Why wouldn’t you say that to her?!”

Put Michael Scott in a room full of high schoolers and Michael Scott is, without a doubt, going to relitigate his youth, which — one can imagine — was probably pretty damn rough. At a job fair, Michael is trying to sell high schoolers on his vision of Dunder Mifflin and, as in the real word, explaining the vagaries and selling points of a workplace outsiders (let alone to high school kids) is a tall task.

177. Season 8, Episode 9 – “Mrs. California”

• Laughs: 6.44

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.03

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.13

• Emotional Weight: 6.01

TOTAL SCORE: 24.61

Best Quote: “We have a gym at home… It’s called the bedroom.” -Phyllis Vance

In general, I think James Spader as Robert California is underrated. Armed now with distance from the show’s finale, the character’s blend of equal parts strangeness, competency, and pure idiocy is strangely funny. I think we were all blinded by Steve Carell’s absence at the time.

But this episode is just a weird one. Robert pins down Andy, swapping between privately urging him to keep his wife out of the office and publicly berating him for not treating Mrs. California with respect. Andy squirms. Robert slithers. It’s all rather predictable but at least we get Phyllis serving up one of her piping hot tidbits about Bob Vance (Vance Refrigeration).

176. Season 5, Episode 13 – “Prince Family Paper”

• Laughs: 7.17

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.44

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.01

• Emotional Weight: 6.01

TOTAL SCORE: 24.63

Best Quote: “I am trying to be more optimistic in life. I’ve got what, 20, 30 more years left? And my family history says I have less. Now, the old Stanley Hudson would have found something to complain about with this actress [Hilary Swank]. But that’s no way to live life. Look at this healthy, sexy, pretty, strong, young woman. Come on people! She. Is. Hot.” -Stanley Hudson

Michael and Dwight destroy a rival paper company (and family) for Dunder Mifflin while the gang back at the office debate the merits of whether Hilary Swank is actually hot. The payoff — where Michael unknowingly ends a dumbass day of debate by offhandly calling her hot — is a nice little bow on an otherwise pedestrian episode.

175. Season 6, Episode 7 – “The Lover”

• Laughs: 6.99

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.53

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.12

• Emotional Weight: 5.05

TOTAL SCORE: 24.69

Best Quote: Michael, after telling Pam he’s sleeping with her mom: “That could have gone one of two ways…but I never expected her to get upset.”

Michael meets his match with a pissed-off Pam. In many instances Pam is prone to delaying her happiness for others, but Michael sleeping with her mother is simply a bridge too far. (By the way, this is the Helene Beesley played by Linda Purl and not Shannon Cochran, who was the OG Helene before being replaced.)

Watching this episode years after it aired, you really get the feeling that the whole Michael-dates-Pam’s-mom plot is just a silly excursion that’ll soon be tidied up. It lessens the stakes.

174. Season 5, Episode 7 – “Customer Survey”

• Laughs: 7.01

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.66

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.03

• Emotional Weight: 6.01

TOTAL SCORE: 24.71

Best Quote: “I have an enormous amount of trouble trying to get people to come to my place. And I hate it. I can’t tell you how much leftover guacamole I have ended up eating over the years. I don’t even know why I make it in such great quantities.” -Michael Scott

Pam is in art school in New York. Jim is in Scranton. Kelly spitefully tanks Dwight and Jim’s customer surveys because they skipped her America’s Got Talent party months prior. Perhaps the most underrated character in the show, Kelly, bonds with Michael — who cannot get anyone to come to his parties — as he pretends to discipline her for a pretty big indiscretion. It’s a sweet moment, something small. But these are the moments that transform Michael into a likable character.

Meanwhile, Pam and Jim talk all day via tiny headset — Bluetooth Pam nails a killer “That’s what she said” when Dwight says “Jim, get out of my nook” — and this is the beginning of Pam eventually walking away from her art life. She struggles in New York and Jim never forces it but — like Jim must temporarily do with Athlead down the line — she chooses him and Scranton over making it work in NYC. The Office frequently nails home that love can mean sacrifice.

173. Season 8, Episode 22 – “Fundraiser”

• Laughs: 6.02

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.88

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.98

• Emotional Weight: 5.98

TOTAL SCORE: 24.86

Best Quote: “Oh, this guy is having a breakdown.” -Ryan, after Andy hopelessly claims he is OK

Andy’s lost his job and he’s losing it. After getting fired, he (briefly) adopts every dog at The (state) Senator’s fundraiser. Oscar gets The (state) Senator’s number, setting up that whole affair with Angela’s eventual husband. It’s a mediocre episode with a few laughs that effectively sets up Andy eventually wresting control of Dunder Mifflin via David Wallace ex machina.

172. Season 9, Episode 14 – “Vandalism”

• Laughs: 5.99

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.65

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.13

• Emotional Weight: 6.12

TOTAL SCORE: 24.89

Best Quote: “Thank you for the food. Oh, and also, you suck. You are like a terrible person. These guys care about you. And you’re just using them. … Again, the food was very good.” -Kevin Malone to The (state) Senator

Warehouse guy Frank draws butts on Pam’s mural — because “Butts are funny,” which, granted, but it’s a dick move — and documentary crew member Brian (a snake) steps in and clobbers Frank with a boom mic when he goes after Pam for her exacting revenge. This episode isn’t all that funny, but I think there is some novelty to Brian (who is a snake in man form) harboring secret love for Pam off-screen, likely for years. It never feels like a threat to Pam and Jim — Pam being out of step with a largely absent Jim is more compelling and authentic — but it hints at the larger world just out of frame, which hardly ever appears in The Office.

171. Season 5, Episode 8 – “Business Trip”

• Laughs: 6.89

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.44

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.1

• Emotional Weight: 6.55

TOTAL SCORE: 24.98

Best Quote: “Mademoiselle. Beer me dos Long Island iced teas s’il vous plaît. Bad decision in a glass.” -Andy

Michael is wide-eyed in Winnipeg on a business trip nobody else in Dunder Mifflin is naive enough to consider a perk. The hijinx are mild — Andy downs Long Island iced teas and drunk dials Angela, complaining about their lack of sex. But it’s a surprisingly moving episode, despite being placed in the middle of a season with relatively low stakes. Pam comes home from New York. Andy finally admits there’s tension in his life. And Michael dresses down David Wallace and it’s kind of about Winnipeg but it’s really about Holly, who was taken away, and in the process you see Michael realize his heart is fucked.

As a wise band once said, “I. Hate. Winnipeg.”

Related Video: 11 Easter eggs from ‘The Office’ you might’ve missed

170. Season 6, Episode 9 – “Double Date”

• Laughs: 6.98

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.88

• Emotional Weight: 6.12

TOTAL SCORE: 24.99

Best Quote: “Do not test my politeness.” -Andy

Michael breaks up with Pam’s mom after suddenly realizing that…she’s old? In the end, (kind of) with Michael’s permission, Pam slaps the shit out of Michael and nothing good comes of it except the realization that Pam, in truth, is not to be messed with. She might be quiet but she’s tough.

169. Season 5, Episode 3 – “Business Ethics”

• Laughs: 7.03

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.11

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.55

• Emotional Weight: 6.31

TOTAL SCORE: 25

Best Quote: Ryan Howard on defrauding Dunder Mifflin: “OK. Elephant in the room. Let’s talk about it. Do I regret what I did? Of course I do. Even though it was an amazing ride and I’ll give you an example. Anyone see Survivor, Season 6? Anyone know Joanna on that show? In New York City, I hooked up with a girl that looked exactly like that. Indistinguishable. So…”

Dunder Mifflin Scranton is going over ethics because, well, Ryan Howard is an all-time skeeze who defrauded the company for millions and is somehow back in the fold. But really it’s all foreplay for the reveal that Meredith has been — how do I put this — boning a client for a special discount and Outback Steakhouse coupons. Holly is understandably alarmed while corporate just wants the discount. And tasting the Outbackian splendor, Stanley proffers, “Just keep the ribs coming.”

168. Season 8, Episode 11 – “Trivia”

• Laughs: 7.1

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.03

• Emotional Weight: 5.88

TOTAL SCORE: 25.02

Best Quote: “Listen, you’re a perfectly fine toilet. I’m just an extraordinary piece of crap.” – Dwight

Leaning into his tryhard spirit, Andy — in a sitcommy as hell plot line — convinces the branch to crash Oscar’s trivia night at a Philly gay bar. Why? Because the grand prize would conveniently deliver just enough cash to hit Robert California’s quarterly growth goal. Dwight, Sisyphean as ever, flies down to Florida to try to land a promotion, which leads Gabe — so proud of his status as the company’s toilet — to try to flush him away. It’s a fine episode but overly silly and The Office is at its best when it’s silly alongside a dose of reality’s monotony.

167. Season 7, Episode 5 – “The Sting”

• Laughs: 6.25

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.33

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.13

• Emotional Weight: 6.32

TOTAL SCORE: 25.03

Best Quote: “A horse is a bike that pedals itself.” -Dwight

Timothy Olyphant makes his brief, somewhat puzzling debut as Danny Cordray, a handsome, stunningly competent salesman for a rival company. He strikes fear into Dwight and Jim’s hearts. Nothing is particularly great in this episode; nothing is particularly bad. Michael ends up poaching Cordray, who ends up mostly being a throwaway character. Life just goes on in Scranton in this episode.

166. Season 6, Episode 8 – “Koi Pond”

• Laughs: 7.14

• Importance to Office Universe: 5.89

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.01

• Emotional Weight: 5.05

TOTAL SCORE: 25.09

Best Quote: “Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy, so actually Jim is my enemy. But…” -Dwight

I mean, Michael falls in a koi pond. Not bad.

165. Season 6, Episode 14 – “The Banker”

• Laughs: 8

• Importance to Office Universe: 5.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.11

• Emotional Weight: 7

TOTAL SCORE: 25.12

Best Quote: “You know, what does it mean to be happy? [shakes head] Keep philosophers busy for a while.” -Michael

It’s effectively a clips episode but the laughs are good and, as far as emotional weight goes, nostalgia can be a hell of a drug.

164. Season 8, Episode 7 – “Pam’s Replacement”

• Laughs: 6.13

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.12

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.11

• Emotional Weight: 7.01

TOTAL SCORE: 25.37

Best Quote: “I’m gonna write something mean on his wall,” -Kelly, about Jim’s random bald friend on Facebook, who she does not know

There are really only two moments that matter in this middling episode.

1. The epic jam band Kevin and the Zits overtaken by Robert California, Andy slaps the shit out of his body, in theory adding to the rhythm section but really just pathetically smacking his belly. Ed Helms makes it hilarious. His grinning non-confidence soars.

2. After a mad-hat scheme in which Dwight and Pam team up to get Jim to say the new girl is hot, Dwight reminds his erstwhile-foes that they forgot a toothbrush for their daughter at the pharmacy. It’s so damn sweet.

163. Season 9, Episode 13 – “Junior Salesman”

• Laughs: 6.36

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.55

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.33

• Emotional Weight: 6.15

TOTAL SCORE: 25.39

Best Quote: “Trevor’s next and he’s a real professional. You say, ‘Jump,’ and he says, ‘On who?’ … He loves to jump on people, that Trevor.” -Dwight

I’m biased — I love Chris Gethard. And if you’re an oddball you must watch the backlogs of The Chris Gethard Show, which was the weirdest, most-DIY, honest show on TV before its demise. But Gethard’s brief appearances as Dwight’s friend/terrible private investigator Trevor are always spectacular, rife with a weird machismo that’s backboned by a self-assured defeatism that Gethard was born to play. When Dwight asks him in a job interview to be a paper salesman how he’d fare at selling paper, Trevor counters “Didn’t see that one coming.” I just love it. It’s just perfect: perfectly timed, perfectly delivered. It’s a bright moment in an average episode.

162. Season 4, Episode 6 – “Branch Wars”

• Laughs: 6.65

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.21

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.55

• Emotional Weight: 5.99

TOTAL SCORE: 25.4

Best Quote: “The eyes are the groin of the head.” -Dwight

Jim joins in on a scheme to get back at Karen Fillipelli (Rashida Jones), his ex who is now leading the Utica branch. It’s actually kind of nice to see Jim get his comeuppance from Karen after he flushed a decent relationship in the crapper. The memorability of this episode is inflated because we get the Jim-reclines-fast-in-his-seat meme.

161. Season 3, Episode 21 – “Women’s Appreciation”

• Laughs: 7.01

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.79

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.52

• Emotional Weight: 5.11

TOTAL SCORE: 25.43

Best Quote: “I wish I could menstruate. If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I’d just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus, I’d be more in tune with the moon and the tides.” -Dwight

A flasher strikes the Scranton Business Park and Michael, predictably, screws up his response. Misogyny ensues, as does a mall trip. In the end, Michael breaks up with Jan (with the assistance of the women of the office) because she’s basically a nightmare whose worst impulses have been amplified by dating Michael. He actually learns nothing, though, and soon enough, Jan is back.

The episode is funny enough, pretty memorable and sets up an even more messed-up version of Michael and Jan. It’s the version of the couple that gives us “Dinner Party” — and for that we should be eternally grateful.

160. Season 4, Episode 5 – “Local Ad”

• Laughs: 6.51

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.5

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.6

• Emotional Weight: 5.91

TOTAL SCORE: 25.52

Best Quote: “Dunder Mifflin: Limitless paper, in a paperless world.” -Michael, in a voiceover

There are two moments that make this episode.

First, the jingle of, “Dun-der Miff-lin, the people person’s paper people.” And, two, Andy confidently remembering the KitKat jingles being about “cat food…nailed it.” Otherwise, it’s not as great as you might remember.

159. Season 9, Episode 3 – “Andy’s Ancestry”

• Laughs: 6.33

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.12

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.22

• Emotional Weight: 6.04

TOTAL SCORE: 25.71

Best Quote: “I was intimidated by Andy’s family before. And now I have to see the First Lady at holidays? She’s gonna be like, ‘What’s your stance on politics?’ Or, ‘What is the best war to do?’ And, I will just be like, ‘Duh!'” – Erin

There isn’t really a great quote from this episode but it’s memorable for perhaps one of the greatest cold opens in show history: Asian Jim. There’s always something so good about the pranks that make Dwight question his reality — dark, sure, but it’s fun to see Rainn Wilson squirm inside a character so rigid.

Nellie and Pam, meanwhile, head off on a little excursion (where Nellie effectively pranks Andy into thinking he’s related to Michelle Obama) but the real point is the show reveals the first sign of tension between Jim and Pam. It’s when he finally reveals he’s unilaterally decided Athlead is their future.

158. Season 4, Episode 11 – “Night Out”

• Laughs: 7.01

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.45

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.21

• Emotional Weight: 6.21

TOTAL SCORE: 25.88

Best Quote: “Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one: How dare you?” -Kelly, to Ryan in a meeting he’s leading

Michael and Dwight take an excursion out of Scranton, chasing after a coked-up Ryan for a night out in New York City. It’s perhaps one of my favorite episodes that takes place outside the friendly confines of Scranton Business Park. Michael is so goddamn earnest and Dwight is so singularly focused, but never on the right thing. In the end, they see a glimpse of a world they cannot fathom and it’s almost touching to see Ryan naked of ambition, drugged up, sweating out the night on his bed. It’s funny but if you really watch it, it’s more sad. His story was always a sad one. A high-level grifter full of ambition, lacking any talent, and stubbornly committed to never self-assessing. He could’ve been president.

157. Season 5, Episode 5 – “Crime Aid”

• Laughs: 7.67

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.1

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.01

• Emotional Weight: 5.13

TOTAL SCORE: 25.91

Best Quote: “Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton.” – Creed Bratton

Michael and Holly bump uglies in the stairwell after work, thieves get in, and Michael concocts a plan (via non-existent Bruce Springsteen tickets) to raise money. In the end, it doesn’t work, but David Wallace spots the new couple kissing — and it’s the spark of the storyline that sends Holly away and that is very important.

156. Season 2, Episode 18 – “Take You Daughter to Work Day”

• Laughs: 7.2

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.49

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.34

• Emotional Weight: 5.89

TOTAL SCORE: 25.92

Best Quote: Stanley Hudson, scaring the ever-loving shit out of Ryan Howard: “That little girl is a child. I don’t want to see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon, do you understand? BOY, have you lost your mind, cuz I’ll help you find it! Whatcha looking for? Ain’t nobody help you out there. Jesus could come through that door and he’s not going to help you if you don’t stop sniffing after my child.”

Michael slowly grows to think kids are cool, ironically enough, through Toby’s child. It’s something that will become a defining characteristic for him and a part of the reason he is so willing to leave the place and people he loves.

Also, an odd line I love: Watching Michael’s brief, sad brush with fame on a children’s show, Dwight asks only if the set’s windmill was functional. Perfect.

155. Season 6, Episode 22 – “Secretary’s Day”

• Laughs: 7.78

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.11

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.13

• Emotional Weight: 6.01

TOTAL SCORE: 26.03

Best Quote: “My last job was at a Taco Bell Express. But then it became a full-time Taco Bell and I don’t know…I couldn’t keep up.” -Erin

Erin admires Michael. Michael realizes Erin is weird as all hell. Kevin is the butt of Cookie Monster jokes before straight-up nailing a Gabe impression. It’s an episode that lets the relative newcomers cook for a minute.

154. Season 8, Episode 14 – “Special Project”

• Laughs: 6.75

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.08

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.98

• Emotional Weight: 6.24

TOTAL SCORE: 26.05

Best Quote: “The Schrutes have a word for when everything comes together in a man’s life perfectly: Perfectenschlag. Right now, I am in it. I finally get a chance to prove myself to corporate. I am assembling a competent team. I am likely a father. I am so deep inside of perfectenschlag right now. And just to be clear, there is a second definition, ‘perfect pork anus,’ which I don’t mean.” – Dwight

Dwight gets a little power and goes nuts. We meet Florida Stanley. Jim is dragged along and quickly realizes he is in way over his head hanging out with Florida Stanley.

153. Season 2, Episode 17 – “Dwight’s Speech”

• Laughs: 7.4

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.5

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.97

• Emotional Weight: 6.34

TOTAL SCORE: 26.21

Best Quote: “This is karma for what he did to Jennifer Aniston,” -Kelly, after a panicked Dwight lies that Brad Pitt was horribly injured in a car crash

Pam is planning a wedding with Roy, and Jim is planning on getting the hell out of dodge. The secret affection — Pam knowing she can’t talk about the wedding in front of him — it’s so touching and if you go back to these moments, there’s no sense that things will definitely work out. At every turn Pam is choosing Roy and it had to be that way for the pay off to ever actually, you know, pay off.

152. Season 6, Episode 2 – “The Meeting”

• Laughs: 6.88

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.03

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.33

• Emotional Weight: 6.01

TOTAL SCORE: 26.25

Best Quote: “You know when they say it’s so crazy it just might work? Well, I don’t believe that. I say go for the air-tight plan and that is why I am having Andy wheel me into the conference room inside a makeshift cheese cart. It is just…elegant. ” -Michael

Leave Michael alone with his thoughts and out comes dysfunction. In this case, Jim tries to land both he and Michael promotions and instead we get a co-manager nightmare.

151. Season 6, Episode 11 – “Shareholder Meeting”

• Laughs: 7.97

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.31

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.67

• Emotional Weight: 5.34

TOTAL SCORE: 26.29

Best Quote: “Recyclops will drown you in your over-watered lawns!” -Dwight, as Recyclops

One of my many pet theories about The Office is that Michael is secretly competent. Almost by accident, his managerial style allows people to work decently and be themselves — and he always cared too much about making Dunder Mifflin successful.

In this episode, he’s invited to a New York shareholder meeting as the top regional manager in the company. Michael sees the fat cats tossing back booze and cashing out, rearranging deck chairs on a half-sunken ship. Say what you will, but Michael Scott always cares. Seeing people who didn’t give a shit, he goes off. Sure he gives a tremendously stupid speech to shareholders about a plan that doesn’t exist (and if it’s the real world this is likely misleading investors) but at least he gives a shit. Half the battle in the world is giving a shit. Plus, he totally nailed the spin into finger guns move.

150. Season 8, Episode 2 – “The Incentive”

• Laughs: 7.03

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.14

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.12

• Emotional Weight: 6.01

TOTAL SCORE: 26.3

Best Quote:

Robert: “If the office superstore was supposed to put us little suppliers out of business, why are we still here?”

[Kevin raises hand]

Kevin: “This is where we go.”

I love the “This is where we go” moment from Kevin. Robert dismisses him, but that’s the way of work for most people. It becomes the thing you do, the people you see, the reality you make worth living. Where you go, in many ways, is who you are.

Also, Andy gets an ass tattoo to get the team to make sales.

149. Season 9, Episode 6 – “The Boat”

• Laughs: 6.22

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.99

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.21

• Emotional Weight: 6.88

TOTAL SCORE: 26.3

Best Quote: “Overall, I’d say my first radio interview went pretty much the way I expected.” -Dwight, after a call in which he was left naked and negotiating a fake hostage crisis

Andy traipses off on the family boat and his split with Erin begins, which is an important storyline. Meanwhile, Kevin accidentally catches Oscar and The (state) Senator in their affair and all Oscar can muster is, a beleaguered “Why” — the word carries so much heft, it’s a “why” heavy with the weight of the universe’s inherent lack of fairness. Oscar found something like love in the desert of Scranton and it’s immediately uncovered by Kevin, a kind-hearted man who cannot keep a secret.

148. Season 5, Episode 19 – “Golden Ticket”

• Laughs: 7.01

• Importance to Office Universe: 5.88

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.55

• Emotional Weight: 5.89

TOTAL SCORE: 26.33

Best Quote: “It’s true.” -Dwight, creating a GIF you’ve seen countless times while admitting “Ze KGB waits for no one.”

This episode displays Michael at his most abusive toward Dwight. He makes him take a fall for the Golden Ticket scheme, before it’s revealed the awful mistake miraculously pays off. It’s sharp-edged, Gervais-adjacent Michael, rather than Steve Carell’s more common approach of blunt-force cluelessness that wins you over.

147. Season 6 – Episode 16 – “Manager and the Salesman”

• Laughs: 8.13

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.12

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.12

• Emotional Weight: 5.99

TOTAL SCORE: 26.36

Best Quote: “Because, well, Jim. Where I’m from, there’s two types of folk: those who ain’t, and those who are knee-high on a grasshopper. Which type ain’t you ain’t? … Y’all come back now.” -Michael, kind of copying Jo Bennett

Jo is introduced as Michael and Jim briefly fight not to be manager because under Sabre’s new ownership the sales staff can pull in massive commissions. It’s a funny episode full of great, one-off lines that are not necessarily “quotable” but remain damn funny. (“Yours in professionalism, Nard Dog,” comes to mind.)

In the end, Michael confirms money has never meant a thing to him. Any dollar he brings in will immediately be wasted on something dumb — the pomp and circumstance he imbues onto the regional manager position, however, is everything to him. It’s seemingly the one part of his life where he has a sense of agency. And, in the end, he’s pictured in the office — manager again — dancing a little jig to his keyboard’s stock music. In that small office, and the office writ large, he’s someone.

146. Season 6, Episode 1 – “Gossip”

• Laughs: 7.13

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.44

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.35

• Emotional Weight: 6.54

TOTAL SCORE: 26.46

Best Quote: “If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about? What have I been working toward?” -Creed

Pam’s pregnant. Michael accidentally reveals it while also revealing Stanley’s affair. Double yikes. But the real legacy of this episode is the “Parkour!” cold open that has inspired roughly one million drunk dudes named like Trevor or Kyle to get injured.

145. Season 8, Episode 6 – “Doomsday”

• Laughs: 7.07

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.44

• Emotional Weight: 5.98

TOTAL SCORE: 26.5

Best Quote: “I know how to save the company, everyone. Just write a petition, get everyone’s signature — including our clients — march down to Florida…And shove it up your butt!” -Stanley, landing a perfect joke

Dwight threatens to sink the company with a Doomsday Device that he insists is not a Doomsday Device, even though it would torpedo all their careers by forwarding their sensitive, personal emails to corporate. But he cannot do it. He loves them. He is them. And dammit, by this point we love Dwight too.

144. Season 4, Episode 10 – “The Chair Model”

• Laughs: 7.11

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.43

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.99

• Emotional Weight: 6.01

TOTAL SCORE: 26.54

Best Quote: “When Pam gets Michael’s old chair, I get Pam’s old chair. Then I’ll have two chairs… Only one to go.” -Creed

Kevin getting a win in this episode — basically crying to get the office’s parking spots back — is low-key the best moment. It’s sweet and an instance of humanity for Kev, who is often a caricature.

143. Season 6, Episode 24 – “The Cover Up”

• Laughs: 7.55

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.14

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.44

• Emotional Weight: 6.44

TOTAL SCORE: 26.57

Best Quote: “So there I am, minding my own business and Darnell offers me three bucks. All I gotta do is walk by Andy and go like this. [Runs finger across his neck.] Darnell’s a chump. I would have done it for anything. I’ve done a lot more for a lot less.” -Creed, talking about Darryl

Michael finds out he’s the mistress with restaurant manager Donna, and Andy and Darryl stumble into a Sabre faulty printer conspiracy. Fine enough episode.

142. Season 6, Episode 26 – “Whistle Blower”

• Laughs: 7.11

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.33

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.05

• Emotional Weight: 7.11

TOTAL SCORE: 26.6

Best Quote:

Michael: “My new favorite restaurant sucks… I bought a video camera last year, and I was looking at the tapes, and there were only like twelve minutes that I felt was worth taping the whole year. Most of that was just birds in my condo complex. What is that?…I miss Holly.”

Jo Bennettt: “Who’s Holly?”

Michael: “Holly Flax from the Nashua branch. Best HR rep that Dunder Mifflin has ever seen. It’s not been a blockbuster year for me financially. My Blockbuster stock is down.”

Beyond getting introduced to Ryan’s WUPHF, all that matters in this episode is that last interaction with Sabre CEO Jo on her private jet. Michael — in a hilariously depressing monologue — admits that Holly’s absence is eating at him. The seed for her to return — and the mechanism with which we lose Michael — is planted.

141. Season 7, Episode 8 – “Viewing Party”

• Laughs: 7.17

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.44

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.01

• Emotional Weight: 7.01

TOTAL SCORE: 26.63

Best Quote: “Of all feelings to base a show around, glee? Thirst — now that’s a show I’d watch.” -Dwight

Most of the plot is centered around Gabe being a fucking weirdo. Andy eats too much of his Chinese boner herb, Michael hates Andy being in charge, Erin is repulsed by the very thought of sleeping with Gabe, and damn, actor Zach Woods delivers as Gabe. He makes Gabe suck so hard, but, also, Gabe rules as a character. He perfectly embodies a particular type of Reddit Guy and I can’t explain further but if you know, you know.

140. Season 6, Episode 23 – “Body Language”

• Laughs: 7.22

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.31

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.81

• Emotional Weight: 6.33

TOTAL SCORE: 26.67

Best Quote: “You ever notice you can only ooze two things? Sexuality and pus. Man, I tell ya.” – Creed

Michael — ever-so-lonely and, well, ever-lonely — really, really, really goes after bar manager Donna and, lo-and-behold he lands a kiss. It’s a pretty humorous episode, even if it doesn’t push important plot.

139. Season 7, Episode 6 – “Costume Contest”

• Laughs: 7.04

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.21

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.33

• Emotional Weight: 7.11

TOTAL SCORE: 26.69

Best Quote: “Could you for once just let us enjoy a party instead of making it about all your issues?” -Kelly Kapoor, to Michael

Salesman Danny Cordray reveals he thought Pam was kinda “dorky” and excuse me How Dare He? Her dorkiness is charming as hell.

138. Season 4, Episode 12 – “Did I Stutter?”

• Laughs: 7.21

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.41

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.21

• Emotional Weight: 5.88

TOTAL SCORE: 26.71

Best Quote: “Did I stutter?” -Stanley

DID I STUTTER?

137. Season 5, Episode 26 – “Casual Friday”

• Laughs: 7.01

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.99

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.77

• Emotional Weight: 5.99

TOTAL SCORE: 26.76

Best Quote: “Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout.” Phyllis Vance, to Pam

It’s the episode where Michael smooths everything over after the Michael Scott Paper Company debacle. But this episode is particularly memorable to me for two reasons: that quote that once again proves Phyllis is the biggest badass in The Office, and the cold open of Kevin carefully making his chili then repeatedly falling with it. The choice to have Kevin narrate the painstaking cooking process as his life’s work is smooshed around the carpet is just brilliant. Plus, come on, Kevin’s Famous Chili is classic.

136. Season 9, Episode 17 – “The Farm”

• Laughs: 6.34

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.22

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.22

• Emotional Weight: 7.01

TOTAL SCORE: 26.79

Best Quote: “Nostalgia is truly one of the great human weaknesses. Second only to the neck.”- Dwight

I could catch flak for putting this episode ahead of some others. It’s widely known as a bad episode. But I find it to be a touching episode composed of scenes from the failed, never-aired Dwight spin-off series “The Farm.” Nothing really comes of Dwight’s ultimate commitment to take over Aunt Shirley’s property — just as nothing came of the show that likely would have meant Dwight never got the full-time regional manager gig. Probably for the best all the way around.

It’s an episode relying heavily on nostalgia — as Dwight’s winking quote admits — but try not to get a little choked up watching him say that line, his entire family strumming The Decembrists’ “Sons & Daughters.” It’s all kind of a red herring, but it’s a pleasant one. Plus, I’ll readily admit: I love nostalgia.

135. Season 8, Episode 24 – “Free Family Portrait Studio”

• Laughs: 6.34

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.44

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.37

• Emotional Weight: 6.67

TOTAL SCORE: 26.82

Best Quote: “I’m Bob. Bob Kazamakis.” -Robert California, introducing himself to David Wallace

To end Season 8, The Office effectively resets itself. Out goes Sabre and Robert California, in comes our old friend David Wallace. Dwight and Angela have a shot at getting back together that largely rests on a paternity test. Even the old warehouse guys return, their investment in an energy drink for gone belly-up. It’s clearing the decks for the final season.

134. Season 9, Episode 5 – “Here Comes Treble”

• Laughs: 7.07

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.99

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.44

• Emotional Weight: 6.33

TOTAL SCORE: 26.83

Best Quote: Andy, explaining his college a cappella nickname “Boner Champ”: “Spring sing ‘95. Got completely ripped on Bud Dries. I had sex with a snowman. I just went at that thing. Cold would have stopped most people but I stayed locked in, you know? Took the face off. It just seemed easier that way.”

Andy’s parents are broke and he’s taking Erin for granted. Oscar is fully cheating with The (state) Senator and Dwight, inspired by finding Nellie’s antidepressant, is moving toward some sort of self-care.

Side note: It’s nice to see a mainstream show from quite some time ago doing a small bit of work to help normalize mental health medication.

133. Season 7 – Episode 1 – “Nepotism”

• Laughs: 7.16

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.68

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.33

• Emotional Weight: 6.69

TOTAL SCORE: 26.86

Best Quote: “This summer I did the minority executive training program at Yale. You guys, I’m like really smart now. You don’t even know. You could ask me, ‘Kelly what’s the biggest company in the world?’ And I’d be like, ‘blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.’ Giving you the exact right answer.” -Kelly

To open the seventh season we learn Michael hired his dumbass nephew. It’s an ultimately wrongheaded attempt to get his family back (who we never really hear from in the show). We also learn Gabe is dating Erin for reasons that are never really explained. Michael’s punishment for eventually spanking the hell out of his nephew is counseling with Toby, a fate worse than death. When Michael spanks his adult nephew he earns the office’s affection for a moment, and it’s a good laugh.

132. Season 6, Episode 19 – “St. Patrick’s Day”

• Laughs: 7.19

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.59

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.11

• Emotional Weight: 7.01

TOTAL SCORE: 26.9

Best Quote: “You don’t become the most powerful woman in Tallahassee by slacking off. You do it by working hard. Or marrying rich. And I did both.” -Jo Bennett

Michael tries desperately to win Jo’s approval, keeping the gang late when they could be out getting drunk on St. Patrick’s Day. And you know the gang likes getting drunk on St. Patrick’s Day. Eventually, Michael blinks and says they’ve done more than enough, in the process seemingly winning Jo’s respect. But that’s not what matters. Michael is invited to the bar and the office buys him a drink. He might as well die right then — it’s all he’s ever wanted, to be welcomed to the fun. That sweetness bumps this episode up the ranking.

131. Season 3, Episode 14 – “Ben Franklin”

• Laughs: 7.12

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.12

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.78

• Emotional Weight: 5.99

TOTAL SCORE: 27.01

Best Quote: “So you know who turned out to be kind of a creep? Ben Franklin. And Elizabeth the stripper gave me great advice. Which rhymed. Really makes you wonder how Ben Franklin can become president, but someone like Elizabeth can’t.” -Michael

Andy Daly has a great little cameo as Ben Franklin and Pam almost, kinda, sorta admits she likes Jim just as he and Karen struggle with a romance that should work, but never quite does.

130. Season 4, Episode 8 – “The Deposition”

• Laughs: 7.21

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.89

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.99

• Emotional Weight: 5.99

TOTAL SCORE: 27.08

Best Quote: “You expect to get screwed by your company, but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.” -Michael

Jan is trying to win money from Dunder Mifflin via a lawsuit and without hesitation threw Michael under the bus. In fact, she brought materials and planned for it. She premeditated screwing over someone she claimed to love.

When the roles were reversed, Michael left Dunder Mifflin without a moment’s notice for Holly. And that tells you pretty much exactly what you need to know about the two relationships. The duality The Office uses here is lovely, once you notice it.

129. Season 9, Episode 2 – “Roy’s Wedding”

• Laughs: 6.99

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.43

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.55

• Emotional Weight: 6.22

TOTAL SCORE: 27.19

Best Quote: “The wheel wants to spin, Pam,” – Creed

Things we learn this episode: Pam and Jim know everything about each other; Roy actually changed — he was previously complacent, with the wrong person, and clearly angry; Erin is growing close to Plop and fading away from Andy.

And, in reality, what was Erin ever doing with Andy, for that matter? The best thing about their relationship was that Andy was not Gabe and well, that’s a fucking low bar.

It’s a workmanlike episode, funny enough, and setting up storylines to come — Jim and Pam tension, Erin finding independence, Dwight accepting he may never be manager — which drives up the importance score.

128. Season 8, Episode 5 – “Spooked”

• Laughs: 7.11

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.65

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.12

• Emotional Weight: 6.34

TOTAL SCORE: 27.22

Best Quote: Erin, making small talk: “November sure creepin’ up ain’t it?? Can’t stop that month.”

Erin throws the Halloween party and, after Robert California comments about wanting a scarier shindig, she employs Gabe’s “theatre of the unsettling” film — it’s disturbingly weird but so funny. Gabe remains underrated as a character because he’s this vanilla exterior with a deeply disturbing interior. It’s like finding out Steve From HR in your office travels to Norway each year for a death metal convention. At first it’s shocking, then it’s like, yeah, you know what, I could see some rage in there.

127. Season 8, Episode 19 – “Get the Girl”

• Laughs: 7.03

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.23

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.01

• Emotional Weight: 7.01

TOTAL SCORE: 27.28

Best Quote: “I grew up poor. I had little formal education. No real skills. I don’t work especially hard, and most of my ideas are either unoriginal or total crap. And yet: I walked right into a job for which I was ill-prepared, ill-suited, and somebody else already had. And I got it. If you ask me, that’s the American dream right there. Anything can happen to anyone… It’s just random.” -Nellie

Here we are at the 127th ranked episode of The Office, about one-third of the way down. These are the sort of forgotten episodes. Not great. Not awful. There’s lots of Season 8 here because it’s before the final season but decidedly post-Michael. Nellie carries this episode (she’s usurping the regional manager throne from Andy) and she’s at her moral worst — cloying and domineering before her reinvention as a powerless oddball wildcard. But, upon revisiting the episode, it’s solidly funny and damn if that ending quote from Nellie isn’t fantastic. It slyly undercuts an American dream that — come to think of it — is undercut by The Office in total. Work as identity has long been an American pillar, but The Office shows work kind can well and truly suck. Friends, love, family, and getting to 5 p.m. with minimal emotional damage are what matter most.

126. Season 5, Episode 22 – “Dream Team”

• Laughs: 7.01

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.11

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.86

• Emotional Weight: 6.31

TOTAL SCORE: 27.29

Best Quote: “Pam, I do my best work when people don’t believe in me. I remember in high school, my math teacher told me I was gonna flunk out. And you know what I did? The very next day I went out and I scored more goals than anyone else in the history of the hockey team. See what I mean? I thrive on this. I thrive on it.” -Michael

The Michael Scott Paper Company is trying to get its sea legs. Pam and Michael take turns freaking out about their potentially ruined lives and, in short order, Vikram — the best goddamn cold-caller east of the Mississippi — jumps off a seemingly sinking ship.

Michael Scott always appreciated Dunder Mifflin and it hardly returned the favor — which is a neat and true observation of corporate life from The Office‘s writing staff. True to form, Michael did nothing at all until he did something rash: Starting his own company out of spite. Putting Michael on an island, making him scramble, it always results in great episodes. A panicked Michael Scott is a funny Michael Scott.

125. Season 1 – Episode 6 – “Hot Girl”

• Laughs: 7.89

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.55

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.96

• Emotional Weight: 5.9

TOTAL SCORE: 27.3

Best Quote:

Ryan: [cleaning wrappers from Michael’s car] “Wow…how many Filet-O-Fishes did you eat?”

Michael: “That’s over several months, Ryan.”

Ryan: “Still a lot.”

In the Season 1 finale, Michael is at his chauvinistic worst, ogling and drooling over Amy Adams’ purse-selling character Katy. The first season obviously leaned heavily on the British version of the show. Carell could carry a Gervasian character — but the show found itself when it made Michael less biting and more pathetic.

There is, however, an amazing little moment in this episode. The “hot girl” and Jim are getting along famously and, against all her protestations and willingness to ignore feelings, Pam puts on a little lip gloss. The feelings were always there, whether she could admit it or not.

124. Season 1, Episode 4 – “The Alliance”

• Laughs: 7.95

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.97

• Emotional Weight: 5.4

TOTAL SCORE: 27.33

Best Quote: “Money isn’t everything Jim, not the key to happiness. You know what is? Joy. You should remember that.” – Michael

Amid rumors of downsizing, it’s the first reluctant alliance of Jim and Dwight — something that would, of course, happen again and again until an accidental friendship bloomed. This episode is funny. The first season is funnier than you might remember, considering the usual narrative is that the first season of The Office wasn’t great. It was pretty damn good in Season 1, but, with just six episodes, it took a bit longer to find its rhythm. But rewatch these episodes and you’ll laugh.

123. Season 9, Episode 11 – “Suit Warehouse”

• Laughs: 6.94

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.23

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.15

• Emotional Weight: 7.01

TOTAL SCORE: 27.33

Best Quote: Clark, pretending to be Dwight’s son: “My dad is the best hunter there is. I mean, he’s like a serial killer of animals.”

Jim and Pam are moving toward real tension over Athlead, while Darryl has perhaps the most cringey interview ever with the very same company. He shoots a basketball and breaks a fish tank. It sounds so dumb, and sure, it is, but try not to laugh. Seriously, watch it and try. There are also some solid laughs as Dwight tries to bring Clark into a sales scheme, but otherwise this episode is midseason fodder that keeps things moving.

122. Season 8, Episode 15 – “Tallahassee”

• Laughs: 7.11

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.11

• Emotional Weight: 6.11

TOTAL SCORE: 27.34

Best Quote: Stanley, getting day drunk at a meeting in Florida: “It’s just rum. I’m not bored. I’m a pirate.”

Half the gang is opening the Sabre store in Florida and, honestly, this episode just lets Dwight and Stanley go bonkers. Dwight is fully Dwight. And Stanley is Florida Stanley, embracing his penchant for overindulgence — more booze, more food, (maybe?) even more affairs.

121. Season 9 , Episode 10 – “Lice”

• Laughs: 7.01

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.29

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.32

• Emotional Weight: 6.88

TOTAL SCORE: 27.5

Best Quote: “Who’s the one who didn’t bring lice into the office? Meredith! Sure, I gave everybody pink eye once. And my ex keyed a few of their cars. And yeah I BM’d in the shredder on New Year’s. But I didn’t bring the lice in! That was all Pam.” -Meredith

Little moments. The Office is wonderful for many reasons, but among them are the resplendent little moments we get to see the characters enjoy. They mirror life — how monumental memories fade into fond little blips. How a huge day can become just one thing that stands out.

Anyway, after an episode of an overworked Pam letting Meredith take the lice-related fall, they make amends and get plastered, joyously singing “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” at a karaoke bar. It’s beautiful.

120. Season 6, Episode 25 – “The Chump”

• Laughs: 6.89

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.77

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.88

• Emotional Weight: 6

TOTAL SCORE: 27.54

Best Quote: “I am Beyoncé always,” -Michael

Michael is indulging in his worst impulses because he learned he is the mistress for his lover Donna. He feels so freaking cool after a lifetime of faking it. And, sure, “I am Beyoncé always” has lived on because, well, Beyoncé is Beyoncé. But the low-key best moment of the episode involves Michael eating Meredith’s birthday cake by the fistful. Ryan watches in awe and says, “Good for you man” and, inspired by someone being a bigger asshole than he is, he tries to convince Erin to sleep with him. He gives up, though and, riding a sugar high, Michael confidently goes, “You’ll learn, baby. You’ll learn.” Carell especially thrives playing Michael riding high before the inevitable fall back to Earth.

119. Season 7, Episode 18 – “Todd Packer”

• Laughs: 7.11

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.99

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.45

• Emotional Weight: 7.13

TOTAL SCORE: 27.68

Best Quote: “Kevin, in sumo culture, you’d be a promising up-and-comer,” -Dwight, trying to make Kevin feel better

A low-key reason The Office worked for nine seasons and 185 episodes was that the characters grew. Nine seasons of characters staying the same just doesn’t fly. If you simply have the same people in new situations, eventually it feels quite stale.

Michael, most notably, shifts from being self-centered and kind of a jerk to a well-meaning person. To wit: Todd Packer is an ass and it’s incredibly fitting that Michael was only able to realize that through Holly. Through her, Michael realizes in this episode that Packer, a former hero, is awful. That’s growth.

118. Season 6, Episode 3 – “The Promotion”

• Laughs: 7.11

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.88

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.77

• Emotional Weight: 5.96

TOTAL SCORE: 27.72

Best Quote: “Alright. Jim, to be fair, the conversation wasn’t about planets. At first we were talking about introducing a line of toilet paper. And what part of the human body does one use toilet paper upon? …So you draw a line from there to the other planets…and I think by the end we learned a little bit about how small we are.” -Michael

Jim is co-manager and is, actually trying at his job. And he’s learning that giving a shit can truly suck.

117. Season 5, Episode 23 – “Michael Scott Paper Company”

• Laughs: 7.14

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.66

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.01

• Emotional Weight: 5.98

TOTAL SCORE: 27.79

Best Quote: [written on the whiteboard] “‘You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.’ -Wayne Gretzky -Michael Scott”

Fun fact: Erin’s real name is Kelly but in this episode, her debut, she decides to go by her middle name — Erin — amid Kelly Kapoor using the dual-Kelly situation to get closer to Idris Elba’s handsome-as-hell Charles Miner.

Otherwise, Michael’s blind optimism is pushing the MSPC “Dream Team” (Pam and Ryan) to near madness in their tiny office in the bowels of the Scranton Business Park. Michael leading a team without corporate buffering his instincts is wildly funny to watch. He’s flying blind and it rules.

We also get an iconic start to the episode:

116. Season 3, Episode 18 – “The Negotiation”

• Laughs: 7.11

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.01

• Emotional Weight: 6.74

TOTAL SCORE: 27.87

Best Quote: “Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.” – Michael

Dwight saves Jim from an attempted attack by Roy — who found out Jim and Pam kissed — and, if you rewatch this, when they cut to Dwight showing off his small arsenal of secretly stashed medieval weapons it’s great. I kind of forgot how Rainn Wilson’s knowing smirk sells the scene.

In the end, a calmed Roy says he doesn’t understand Pam — she called off the wedding for Jim and, yet, she’s happily watching him date Karen — and Roy is not wrong. It takes quite some time for Pam to go for the things she wants in life. That’s partially a device employed by the show’s writers — the longer they tease out Jim and Pam’s relationship, the longer they can keep the show’s engine churning off that tension — but it’s also a keen observation about life. Sometimes you’ve got to be willing to say, “Fuck it,” and speak the things you mean, or you risk missing out. Sometimes you’ve got to make your own fate. At this point, Pam is willing to believe that maybe things work out on their own. That’s just not how it works. And, as Pam says herself way down the line in the finale, she wishes she knew that earlier.

115. Season 6, Episode 20 – “New Leads”

• Laughs: 8.31

• Importance to Office Universe: 5.98

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.55

• Emotional Weight: 7.12

TOTAL SCORE: 27.96

Best Quote: “You couldn’t handle my undivided attention.” -Dwight

The sales staff are king under Sabre and they’ve become monsters. Fine enough episode, but the joke that stands out is Dwight, surveying the town’s dump, mumbling to himself, “This place has gone to hell.” He is exactly the type of person to have thoughts on the quality of a dump.

114. Season 5, Episodes 15 & 16 – “Lecture Circuit, Parts 1 & 2”

• Laughs: 6.75

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.33

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.01

• Emotional Weight: 6.88

TOTAL SCORE: 27.97

Best Quote: “I am single now. What we have here is the ultimate smackdown between the Nard-Dog and crippling despair, loneliness and depression… I intend to win.” -Andy

Bit of housecleaning: Any clearly labeled Part 1 & Part 2 episodes in Netflix (when The Office was on Netflix) are being treated as one episode because it’s easier that way, this thing is long enough already and they typically function as one episode anyway.

Michael tours Dunder Mifflin branches with Pam to teach his “successful” ways, which is a perfect vessel for Michael to peacock around and tie himself in increasingly dumb knots while public speaking. But really this whole thing just serves to open the door for Michael and Holly — to put that back on the table with a stolen, never-sent goodbye letter penned by Holly. Pam reads it — Michael keeps his hands half-clean — and he learns that it’s not over. It’s the beginning of the plan to get Michael out of Scranton (and give Carell his exit from the show).

113. Season 4, Episode 3 – “Launch Party”

• Laughs: 7.01

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.88

• Emotional Weight: 7.11

TOTAL SCORE: 28.01

Best Quote: “They say you should never mix business with pleasure. Really? Well then, explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates.” -Andy

The cold open is the DVD logo TV bouncy thing and that might be the most memorable bit of this episode. It has lived on in memes and video clips but it’s indicative of the way workers make dumb games to pass the time. And “dude, you gotta believe,” from Kevin as they watch the cube bounce is oddly beautiful.

Beyond that, I love the office’s near revolt after Michael orders Pizza By Alfredo’s instead of Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe, the far superior pizza purveyor in Scranton. I feel like everyone has seen an office get upset about bad free food. Ryan’s just ascending in his, erm, meteoric rise that ends in fraud and Andy is winning over Angela. Michael, ever overcompensating, is overcompensating for not being invited to the real website launch party in NYC planned by Ryan.

112. Season 9, Episode 18 – “Promos”

• Laughs: 6.01

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.44

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.22

• Emotional Weight: 7.34

TOTAL SCORE: 28.01

Best Quote: “Go to the bathroom for 45 minutes and everything changes,” -Kevin after seeing the promo for the documentary.

The trailers for the documentary finally drop and everyone summarily freaks out, especially Oscar and Angela because the show-within-a-show is set to seemingly reveal that The (state) Senator is gay and that Angela cheated. The episode sets up their dual split from The (state) Senator, which matters for the importance rating, considering The Office in its entirety kinda-sorta traces the path of Dwight and Angela as much as anything else.

Meanwhile, Pam is asking Boom Guy Brian if Jim has changed and it feels forced, but I suppose the tension of the show has to come from somewhere.

111. Season 2, Episode 13 – “The Secret”

• Laughs: 7.46

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.97

• Memorability, Quotability: 5.99

• Emotional Weight: 6.63

TOTAL SCORE: 28.05

Best Quote: Michael, buying Stanley a drink out of spite: “Peach iced tea…you’re gonna hate it.”

Michael knows Jim loves Pam and he cannot contain himself. Giving Michael Scott a secret is inflating a balloon with a wind tunnel: That sonuvabitch is gonna pop. It’s awful for Jim, but, in the end, it puts him at least halfway out in the open for once. The writers of The Office make clear that a huge part of him wanted that secret to escape since he boozily admitted it to Michael.

It’s smart storytelling. Jim himself is about to burst if he doesn’t tell something. As a wise song once noted, “When you love somebody and bite your tongue, all you get is a mouth full of blood.”

110. Season 2, Episode 12 – “The Injury”

• Laughs: 8.49

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.12

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.4

• Emotional Weight: 6.1

TOTAL SCORE: 28.11

Best Quote: “I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon. Sue me. And since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It’s good for me. It’s a perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill, it clamped down on my foot. That’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that.” -Michael

Michael George Foreman-grilling his foot gets all the attention in this episode. Sure. It’s hilarious.

But there’s a stunningly perfect moment hidden in this episode that foreshadows Ryan’s character arc, and kind of explains everything you need to know about him. I’m telling you, I think about this moment like once a week. It’s amazing and telling and OK here it is.

Ryan rips open a cheese stick and, instead of peeling it back string-by-string, he chomps a big bite. “Wow, you just dive right into it,” Toby notices. “You know, around age 12 I just started going for it,” Ryan replies. And that right there is Ryan Howard — no patience, get the reward now, no apologies, and fully misguided. All that from a cheese stick.

109. Season 8, Episode 16 – “After Hours”

• Laughs: 7.09

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.03

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.67

• Emotional Weight: 6.33

TOTAL SCORE: 28.12

Best Quote: “Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream. And then sometimes I actually do scream. …I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.” – Kelly Kapoor

Cathy — a snake, a Snake, a SNAKE, A SNAKE — is trying to seduce Jim and we get a cute little rom-com with Dwight and Jim since Cathy gets banished from Jim’s room because she, again, is a snake. Jim walking “all smug” like a bed bug — in an effort to get Dwight to unknowingly intervene with the snake — is straight up hilarious. Season 8 isn’t as bad as people want it to be. In fact, it’s good. Fight me.

108. Season 8, Episode 17 – “Test the Store”

• Laughs: 7.22

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.88

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.77

• Emotional Weight: 6.33

TOTAL SCORE: 28.2

Best Quote: “Will someone please explain what’s going on here? Since the interesting thing happened ‘til now, so much time has passed. It’s like my life is buffering.” -Kelly

Andy got socked in the face by a little girl in the parking lot. Dwight, in Florida, is trying his best to make Sabre’s ill-fated store a success. He’ll do anything to drum up excitement — he, for instance, gets fake-trampled by a non-stampede of customers checking out the dumbass Pyramid Tablet. The weird presentation for the tablet, the truly dumb product, it’s a pretty good send-up of tech culture before it was cool to do that.

107. Season 9, Episode 15 – “Couples Discount”

• Laughs: 7.01

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.01

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.01

• Emotional Weight: 7.21

TOTAL SCORE: 28.24

Best Quote: “Meredith Palmer ain’t never been called no narc. Floozy? Yes. Alchy? Check. Einstein sarcastically? You bet. But never. No. Narc. Vomit mop? Sure. Floor meat? That’s me. Flesh hoover? … ” -Meredith

Andy returns from his boat trip and, being Andy, he gives everyone shit for little things even though he didn’t tell corporate that he was gone for weeks on end. Erin finally dumps him after planting a kiss on Plop in the parking lot. Andy is underrated as a character but, lord, before he finds some measure of perspective at his Cornell gig, he’d be a fucking nightmare to date.

106. Season 9, Episode 20 – “Paper Plane”

• Laughs: 6.04

• Importance to Office Universe: 7.88

• Memorability, Quotability: 6.22

• Emotional Weight: 8.12

TOTAL SCORE: 28.26

Best Quote: “We are now down to an Elite 8. Well, seven…and Toby,” -Nellie

Let’s address the elephant in the room: Some people won’t be pleased that anything from Season 8 or 9 is ahead of relative classics like “Launch Party.” But you’ve got to consider that these episodes are so, so key in, first, sticking the landing on the end of the show and, second, driving home that these characters are ones that last in our memories.

To wit: In this episode, there’s a quick scene where Jim leaves and there’s a mistimed goodbye with Pam and it kills you and it’s so sad. Pam runs him down and they hug and a clip from their wedding plays, and fuck, you just wanna die — that payoff moment matters. It matters that the show built a shared history among these characters and, hell, with us.

Oh, and also, Creed throws a cantaloupe in the paper airplane competition, which is pretty funny.

105. Season 3, Episode 19 – “Safety Training”

• Laughs: 8.01

• Importance to Office Universe: 6.45

• Memorability, Quotability: 7.99

• Emotional Weight: 6.01

TOTAL SCORE: 28.46

Best Quote: Darryl, trying to talk Michael out of jumping off the roof: “Mike, you’re a very brave man. I mean it takes courage just to be you. To get out of bed every single day, knowing full well you got to be you.”

The whole thrust of this episode is talking about getting depression from working a typical office life — and they make it funny as hell — but it’s so natural for The Office to Trojan horse in some reality about how god-awful cubicle life can be.

Fun fact: In this episode, Michael famously parrots Dan Aykroyd’s SNL line with “Dwight, you ignorant slut.” The director of “Safety Training” was none other than comedy legend Harold Ramis, a longtime collaborator with Aykroyd — together they co-wrote Ghostbusters.